Ok, it’s almost February, but thinking about my new year took time. 2015 was a year of meaningful changes – In one year, I had my rhinoplasty surgery (which I had documented only on my Instagram account – roll back there…), I lost 14 kilos, and finally said goodbye to my post pregnancy, stubborn fat. I Broke up from my husband (July). We’ve been together for the past 9 years, and it was terrifying. As the result of this decision, I learn how to be by myself again, read more books, and focused on my own professional and personal goals. Having more alone time with my son, made me a better mother, too. Unfortunately, I fell into smoking again (after 4 clean years), and quit. I’m now smoke clean since 1.1.2016 (Hooray!).
So, what now? 2016 is waiting for me, with some new goals, hopes and dreams. Here are some of the things I try to keep in mind:
Taking care of my body & soul
Losing weight made me feel incredibly good. I eat well, and not starving myself. It’s important not to stick to the calorie plan, but to also think carefully about the food I’m eating. For example – one apple or two cookies, for 16:00 snack? It’s a daily struggle.
My smoking and quitting experience taught me a lesson. When I quit smoking four years ago, it was easy. I wanted to have a baby and the goal itself was enough – I quit “cold turkey” and didn’t look back. Except for… Weddings, and other occasions, where I took one cigarette or two. It didn’t make me an addict again, so I left this one door open. But when I faced the divorce, this door was the problem. And it was so hard to quit. I felt so stupid for falling back to this trap.
Another thing I’ve done this year is a lot of reading. Not romances, but books of inspiration. Books that help me involve and become a better person, better partner, and a better life planner.
Books I enjoyed reading this year:
Make my dreams come true
I’m 36, and I realize the time is now. I can’t dream about my future without doing something about it. If I don’t, there will be no one else to blame. 15 years ago, when I was young and not very confident, I took the wrong career path. I wanted to be a graphic designer, but my ex boyfriend somehow persuaded out of it. “You need a degree”, he told me. But me, I’m an autodidact person and a short term course is much more suitable for me, with better chances to succeed. I don’t blame him. It was my own responsibility and I failed.
Today, my job includes photo editing too, but not enough. I decided to take the plunge and learn graphic design. The course begins in February and I’m very excited. Honestly, I couldn’t wait for the course to begin and I already started designing for Society6 (What do you think about this one?). I have two designs and I’m hoping to grow the collection.
Cook my own food
I’m on my own now. I’m a single mother and I have to take care of my budget carefully. As a part of keeping an eye on my budget, the first thing I wanted to reduce is the eating outside habit. In the past few years I didn’t cook at all (microwave rice?). I think it was the result of feeling bad about my body. I felt more comfortable with “staying away from the kitchen” attitude. But now, after losing weight and having full control of my menu, it’s actually easier to cook my own food. And as a vegan, I don’t have to double check any menu, nor ingredients.
Break the rules
Being at the office at the same time, every day, never late… Well, I am not a robot. What if I stay in bed for a few more moments? Just hit that snooze button for once. What if I make plans for the weekend and decide to decline? I might be nicer to myself, and maybe, do something unexpected.
Listen to ME
People have their opinions about everything. These opinions rely on their own life experiences. They don’t know everything about the problems I deal with. They just don’t. No one could ever walk in my shoes, feel what I feel and know what I know. Therefore, I’m the only one who can solve my own problems. The worst part of taking advices is losing my inner voice, and the connection to my intuition. And more – forgetting my dreams. Everyone has it’s right to think whatever he or she wants about my stuff, but me, I have to stay loyal to my own way. That is what makes me – me.
I discovered how cynicism is bad. It really is. I always felt like my cynicism is a sort of humor (which I still have…), but it had a negative impact on my soul, and my relationships. In 2016, I want to be authentic, and reflect my real emotions.